Wednesday, April 4, 2007

detox, a personal soundtrack and an affinity to schizophrenia

i never realized my person comes complete with my own personal soundtrack!

it's funny...i'll wake up and have no music going on, then about lunch time, i'm humming (all in my brain of course) a tune of a pop song i haven't heard in weeks...

all the while, i can't figure out where the music is coming from!

in the 'normal' world, i'd listen really hard with my super-sonic hearing and quickly discern which cubicle or radio was projecting the music....

but now.

well, now i sometimes just resign myself to letting the song play out...or i'll intentionally change the station in my brain...

weird.

hard...

especially when a voice other than my own is a welcome thing....


i think it's all a part of the detox.

you know, detox. it's where all the bad gets sifted out of your system...makes you want all the good instead of craving the bad.

part of this 'detox' is cultivating a 'quiet, weaned' heart...Psalm 131 has been my go-to this week:

A Pilgrim Song
God, I'm not trying to rule the roost,
I don't want to be king of the mountain.
I haven't meddled where I have no business
or fantasized grandiose plans.

I've kept my feet on the ground,
I've cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother's arms,

my soul is a baby content.

Wait, Israel, for God.
Wait with hope.
Hope now;
hope always!


So. that's what's happening in my world...trying to learn how to hear that whisper...i thought it was hard when there are so many voices outside.

i'm finding it's just as hard with so many voices inside...

i promise i'm not turning schizophrenic...at least i THINK i'm not turning schizo...

:)

thinking of so many of you this week...and praying His grace and favor as He pursues you and you pursue Him...wholeheartedly my friends! wholeheartedly!


annetta



p.s. this detox is almost as bad as a physical detox...less lemon and ginger though...

2 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

.

If I could speak in any
language in heaven or
on earth but didn't love
others, I would only be
making meaningless noise
like a loud gong or a
clanging cymbal. If I
had the gift of prophecy,
and if I knew all the
mysteries of the future
and knew everything
about everything, but
didn't love others, what
good would I be? And
if I had the gift of faith
so that I could speak
to a mountain and make
it move, without love
I would be no good to
anybody. If I gave
everything I have to
the poor and even
sacrificed my body,
I could boast about it;
but if I didn't love others,
I would be of no value
whatsoever. Love is
patient and kind. Love
is not jealous or boastful
or proud or rude. Love
does not demand its
own way. Love is not
irritable, and it keeps
no record of when it
has been wronged.
It is never glad about
injustice but rejoices
whenever the truth
wins out. Love never
gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through
every circumstance.

May You Always
Experience This
Kind Of Love,
Dr. Howdy

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you, Annetta, and I look forward to the beautiful song He is writing with your life in this time. However, I must tell you that I am slightly schizo myself - random songs of all kinds greet me nearly every morning when I wake. And I have found that even those are His voice. He knows my language pretty well. Many smiles and much love to you! And many more songs.