For 6 weeks (more maybe??) I've lived in a new city with a new job at a new place finding a new church while putting together this new life.
Today I hung with a few of my dearest friends and family and then went on a long run to really breathe Him in...breathing Him in on an old running trail was like seeing an old friend for the first time in a long time. I was home. And at home, I was reminded of who I am:
His kid.
I don't have to impress. I don't have to be anything other than who I am. Freedom arrives with identity. I don't need social status.
I was also able to meet with a dear friend who is in the midst of immense pain. A beautiful soul, I was reminded again that our lives are purposed to love others. It is such a gift to walk through another's junk. To hear her heart, her pains and brokenness, was an honor not all human beings are given. Yet He has seen fit to give me this space in so many lives. I am so humbled.
For those of you reading that have spoken into my life, I thank you sincerely and wholeheartedly. I see the light now for the first time in a while. While the sky is still charcoal, dawn hasn't broken yet, the light has tinged the horizon. And I am so encouraged to believe what I had lost faith in...that He is indeed coming for me. In the midst of the horror of the past year, I had so many days of losing hope. I thought He had abandoned me. But now, before I see Him arrive, I have a desperate need to say, "I believe. You are here. You are coming."
O happy day! He reminds me that my identity is not an Israelite child in the desert; one who gripes and forgets His provision. Rather, my identity is His child who proclaims the way of Him in that desert. Years ago He prepped my heart for this time. He gave me Habakkuk 2:1-3,
"I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me, and how I may reply when I am reproved. Then the Lord answered me and said, "Record the vision and inscribe it on tables, that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail; though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."
Father. I believe. I know You are coming. My heart yearns for You. I wait in full expectation of the amazing things You are going to bring to pass. I am shouting it from the roof tops Father...I am writing it on this tablet that those who may read it may run deeper into your arms. You will not delay a moment longer than needed. In fact, Your Word says You will not delay. So on this Word I place my life...my heart...my plans...my all. For You are my all. And in this space, and this space alone, I am who I am created to be: Yours.
You are so good! I love You.
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