When I was uber young, I can remember going to the local grocery store, begging for just about every sugary thing on the shelves. With 4 (at the time!) of us running around, grocery trips were a little harrowing. Out numbering the 'rents, we had a tendency to wander off, geting lost in the store. I think every kid gets lost or left in a store at some point. I mean, kids are wiggly little buggers. They have a tendency to squirm and wander.
When I'd wandered off, one partiular time, I vividly remember that feeling of aloneness. I was standing next to the spaghetti noodles, tears welling up, anxiously looking for my parents. Sometimes I'd frantically rush through the grocery store looking for them. But this time, I stayed put, "in one place", as my parents had instructed me to do when I was lost. Waiting for them to come find me seemed to take years! In my early years, I'd scream bloody murder, hoping that'd alleviate my fear and draw their attention to my aisle, finding me at last! That particular time, in the spaghetti aisle, there were just tears, no screaming. I was only "lost" for a few minutes. In a little farm town, the grocery store is not that big. But in those few minutes, I felt like the world was a huge horrible place. And I thought my parents had left me, never to return. Funny how quickly I jumped to an abandonment scenario when their behavior with me would have proven anything BUT abandonment!
I thought they left me.
Recently, I thought He'd left me. Naturally, when I don't think He's working, my flesh has a tendency to manipulate and push circumstances to my liking. Sarah & Abraham did that with Hagar and Ishmael, and so the Islamic peoples were born. I can't imagine what world religion could be born out of my own manipulations...let's pray He protects me from that manipulation!!
But, guess what?? In the midst of believing He'd left me, He saved me from myself. And He didn't leave me. Even now, as no cicrcumstances have changed that would say to others that He is here, well, He's been speaking so loudly to my heart, "I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU!"
NO SIRREE!!! He DIDN'T! He's HERE!!!
I am almost beside myself with this revelation. How quickly I turned my thoughts to believing my parents had left me..how much quicker I believed He had left me in the midst of the desert.
I hear Him and I believe Him.
Life looks exactly as it did when there seemed no hope. The only difference is a revived heart. Joy has returned in the midst of the darkness...I am indeed dancing in the dark. And let me tell you, I've got "moves you've never seen!"
So I'm grateful. Renewed faith has been borne, not of my own cynical, questioning heart, but from His firm strong gaze. In the middle of a grocery store I'm reminded, He's here. He's coming for me. He hasn't left me yet.
So I'll continue to play out this holding pattern, moving as He leads, praying for open and closed doors, with my "ears to the rails", listening for His coming.
He's coming my friends!! Oh how He loves me! I glory in this highest honor today...and love Him back with all my heart.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment