Extraordinarily Ordinary

Journey
Originally uploaded by dopiaza.

it really IS all about the journey.

lately, i've been head-over-heels involved in a project. and not a project that needs just a little "tweaking" as Tom Hanks so eloquently says to Meg Ryan in my favorite movie. rather, this project is crazy involved. and it's a 'jump-off-the-diving-board-into-the-deepend' kinda' involved. except, that jump also involves jumping without knowing if there's water first.

i'd always thought moments of faith were preceeded by flashes of light and booming "james earl jones" voices. but my experience says, that it's a lack thereof.

no voice. no lightning. no big talking-picture story.

it's as if you're in a really windy place, and for a moment, the wind dies down. and there's that eerie silence. although not so eerie. and not so silent unless i make room for that silence.

doesn't make sense huh?

let me try again. faith is...

ordinary. everyday. constantly. moment-by-moment. in the dull. in the humdrum.

in my unfallen, blood-of-Christ-covered state, it's natural. all-the-while, it's supernatural.

in the end...it's...well, it's glorious. all-the-while, it seems, normal.


here's to a life lived as purposed...in a perpetual, ordinary, extraordinary freefall.

Glorious Waiting Room

Glorious Rising
Originally uploaded by Ms Ladyred.

waiting. a gloriously divine activity. frustrating. drives me crazy. but gloriously divine. it's not coincidence that in my current divine waiting room, sunsets have become a moment where my soul rests. i think they're His waiting room for me. anticipation has always been such a fun part of an event for me. and now...in the silence. i think waiting is a divine activity. not only do i happen to be in waiting periods quite frequently, but they always seem to be divinely appointed. maybe i'm not picking up what i'm supposed to be learning eh?

but. in this waiting, there is always one of two things for me.

either He speaks much and i am filled to overflowing.
or
He speaks little...

and i'm left to walk in the dark, holding onto the hope He has promised and the vision He has originated and ordained.

today, i was a bit woebegone, mourning the loss of His voice in my life...and my realization that His Voice was so silent was only after the activity in my life became still...my activity...and i can't see His activity at present. but i believe it is goin nuts under the surface. His plans are glorious and moving...in my 'woebegone' sate, i read these quotes:

The answer to our prayer may be coming, although we may not discern
its approach. a seed that is underground during winter, although
hidden and seemingly dead and lost, is nevertheless taking root for a
later spring and harvest. - bickersteth

delayed answers to prayer are not only trials of faith, they also give
us opportunities to honor God through our steadfast confidence in Him
even when facing the apparent denial of our request. - spurgeon

oh me of little faith! that i would see the invisible...for when He SEEMS still, He's moving quite quickly. His timing is perfect. and He is really good at growing the roots of a plant before letting it jump forth from the ground. this waiting is not unique to me...seems as if everyone lives in it. doesn't make it easier to realize it's a communal, silent waiting room. not much fellowship goin on there. BUT...it does allow me to borrow prayers...here's one from Shane B:

i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet's where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time's from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

i will fight when i cannot feel
i will trust when You don't seem real
i will tell when i cannot speak
i will step when i cannot see

even the waiting is glorious when done at rest.

love y'all. praying His Presence in your life today...esp for those prepping camp twood. missin ya this year...but have you lifted up in His hand!

crash-n-burn

it's been really weird this past week. life was so crazy and non-stop and all-consuming.

and now. well, now i'm back to waiting.

weird how these days go by much slower than the more active ones. but He has provided ways for me to have space to sit and think on Him. to listen. that's been pretty amazing. the way He carves moments out when i think there are none to be had.

i had a great talk with my dad. and one thing that became poignantly clear was my loneliness. it's funny, but as i walk through this newest adventure, the only person 'on the line' is me. i'm the only one that the death of this vision, the crash-n-burn, of this will effect. thus, it's a lonely space i fill. i walk and move and breath and obey what and where i think He's leading. but at the same time, there's no one else in the hot spot with me. it surely purifies motives. and it surely pushes me to Him as nothing else.

but it's still lonely.

seems i'm the only one out here. and that's ok today. because i look and listen and realize that He's right there with me...speaking His love for me.

so i walk in His love today. i walk in hope. and faith.
knowing that green pastures are coming...where i'll live in beautiful, messy community.

praying His new home for me will come soon,

annetta