suffering

i've been thinking about suffering lately. it's funny how many articles can be found on it....there's so much of it in the world. it's looming and pervading presence always demands an audience. and it's also interesting to note that suffering has no prejudice or party affiliation. it's not bound by social class. and it's definitely not bound by race or ethnicity.

everyone who lives and breathes is promised suffering at some level.

so why do we shirk from it? or have knee jerk reaction towards God when it comes? isn't it a beautiful thing? isn't it what allows such direct and pure lines of communications with Him?

i was thinking about these times in my life that have been so hard. those times that i spend weeping on my knees. at the time, they seemed almost unbearable. but it was that desperation that lead me to really, trully sucking Him in instead of anything else. if you stop and listen, anyone's intelligent enough to realize that suffering in and of itself is not worthwhile. but it is the whatever happens that brings Him closer that is worthwhile and that our hearts silently crave. in and of itself, keep suffering away. but i want Him so badly to be more in me, that i'll take whatever He determines will bring me closer to Him.

after all, He's worth everything isn't He?

so. Father, don't bring the suffering. BUT bring Yourself Lord...and if suffering is part of that, then You'll make me ok with that...because i love You more than life itself...help me to love You more.